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THE PLACES I LOVE
Places that make you feel less alone. Busy streets between tall, sparkly buildings. Dog parks. The passenger seat. The family kitchen table. Your best friend’s couch at 3 in the morning.
Places where you can forget for a moment. Loud dancing bars with cheap drinks. Small town carnivals. Karaoke machines. Rollercoasters. Concerts. Rooftops. Between the sheets of a great book.
Places to get lost in. A city whose language you don’t speak. Libraries. Ikea. A hiking spot your friend said that will “only take 1.5 hours to get to.” On the mountaintops. In the waters. Under the stars.
Places where you feel most like yourself. Small, hidden alleys. The house you grew up in. The backyard patio. Behind closed bedroom doors. The corner cafe with the old lady who calls you beautiful whenever you walk in. Under the sycamore tree, by the river. The one where sun and rain don’t matter — it’s just as beautiful either way.
Places I want to hold onto. Where we first met. Where we first kissed. Under your umbrella. Around your arms. Beneath your kisses. And next to you.
GROWING OLDER IS A FUNNY THING
One day you/re 16, now it's 10 years later and everything has changed.
You wake up somewhere so foreign yet you know exatcly where you are. Your sheets are matching linens now instead of pink with embroidered flowers. Your room is white, you have a nice lamp and there’s someone else on the picture frame.
Growing older is a funny thing.
You walk in a room and everyones faces look a bit different The lines on their eyes tell you all about the moments you've missed. Yet the bond remains the same just that they now have stories you don’t know, places you’ve never been, things you’ve never seen. They’re living a completely different life, and so are you.
Growing older is a funny thing.
I often think of moments I remember most. The scent of it, the feel of it, the sound of it. I replay it on my head enough to cling to all the detailsl. Is that a good thing? Perhaps it depends on what it is.
I often think of moments I don’t remember much. The detail were as clear before, now not so. Was it a peony? I don’t know. It was on a Thursday, I’m sure. But was it raining? At least, the important parts I still recall.
I often think of moments I don’t remember at all. Where have they gone? Have they shaped who I am? Were they even real? How then can I truly know?
Growing older is a funny thing.
RELATIONSHIP GREEN FLAGS, ACCORDING TO ME
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When communicating hurt feels like a growth experience, not an argument.
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Regular loving and kind gestures.
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Anticipating needs - a snack before I’m hangry, a hug before I’m sangry (sad and angry).
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When his energy feels like warm blankets from the dryer.
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Respecting each other’s autonomy.
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When actions meet words.
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Emotional transparency, from both ends.
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Acceptance, validation and honoring time spent together while having confidence in leaving some space in between.
RELEARNING WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE
I am slowly relearning what love looks like.
That connection doesn’t happen in an instant. But is built on many shared moments of vulnerability and openness.
That you don’t have to fight for love. It is freely given by souls you’ve touched.
That love doesn’t wither. Rather, it grows when nurtured and slowly wilts when ignored. But it never ends, it lingers.
That love doesn’t seek another at a sign of trouble. But it looks you in the eye, holds your hand and tells you it’s all going to be okay.
That it pushes you to be the kindest version of yourself.
That it doesn’t question your insecurities. Instead, it embraces even the parts you don’t love about yourself.
That it gives you the space to freely express yourself without judgement.
That it shouldn’t withheld, limited and suppressed. But an encompassing feeling even in the most mundane moments.
That it’s more than just a feeling. But a choice you make every single day.
