I always knew I’m moving somewhere. I dreamt about it, sleep with the thought in my head and it’s a recurring theme in my daydreams. It’s a long time left, I always thought.
But now here I am, a long way away from home. With dreams packed in a luggage and a boarding pass in one hand. Dreams coming true feels strange. It feels surreal, yes. Exciting and thrilling, of course. But never quite like I imagined.
I thought when I finally move that will be that. I never have to think about the little passing moments in everyday life. No, now I have to think about what to cook for dinner and remember to buy detergent for laundry on Sundays. I thought it will be a new book for me to explore. There’s so many places to visit, things to do and people to meet. Everyday will be packed with things to do and go, go, go.
Since moving, everything has been great. Although I did have some mental phases at times, it still felt great. I am officially living with my boyfriend. As in, we have an apartment together. With my name on the contract to make it even more official.
I love where I am and the possibilities are endless, but what I didn’t think realize is how lonely it would be.
Sometimes I cry, a lot. I miss home. I miss my family and my dog Steve. I miss my friends. And I miss how familiar everything is. Most of the time though, I am frustrated. There are things I don’t understand and things that are seemingly rude in my country but are completely normal here. I also don’t have friends here. I have my boyfriend and it’s been great to spend all our days and nights together. But sometimes, you need just someone other than them. So you can lounge around the house with, drinking wine and some girl talk. I’m not even going to talk about how it feels to miss your family. It feels weird not to have them just there. Even for someone like me.
I’m lucky though, I have someone going through this with me. We fill our days mostly feeling giddy about everything. It’s new, exciting and terrifying. We talked about this for so long and right now, it is happening.
Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about all of this. Lonely, scared, happy or excited. It’s all these in one. But one thing I know is that I’m exactly where I want to be.